Friday, September 17, 2004

George W. Bush: A Catastrophic Success Story

According to the Washington Post:
“Three years after the Sept. 11 attacks on New York and the Pentagon, the Central Intelligence Agency has fewer experienced case officers assigned to its headquarters unit dealing with Osama bin Laden than it did at the time of the attacks, despite repeated pleas from the unit's leaders for reinforcements, a senior C.I.A. officer with extensive counterterrorism experience has told Congress.”

Someone please tell me again why the media calls George W. Bush the “leader” in the war on terror without any contention.

The War on Terror might actually be close to being won already had President Bush not shifted the focus to the un-related war in Iraq. Now the Taliban is on the rise again and al-Qaida has swelled its ranks because of President Bush. The only thing the president has done successfully - catastrophically, I might add - is destroy two countries and alienate us from the rest of the planet.

President Bush used the phrase “catastrophic success” to describe the situation in Iraq. Which, to me, means he was successful at creating a catastrophe. Saddam Hussein was not a threat. If there were no WMD, how could have been? Meanwhile, Iran and North Korea, the real threats continue to grow.

President Bush himself has been a “catastrophic success” as president:

* Successfully allowed the catastrophe of 9/11.

* Successfully finished "My Pet Goat" while the 9/11 catastrophe was occurring.

* Successfully allowed Afghanistan to slide towards catastrophe as the Taliban and al-Qaida continue to regain their influence.

* Successfully turned Iraq into the catastrophe of 1980s Lebanon and 1960s and 70s Vietnam.

* Successfully pushed over 1,000 American families into emotional catastrophe as a result of the war of choice in Iraq.

But the successful tale of catastrophe can be traced back through George W. Bush’s life.

His father's name got him into Yale and his father’s connections successfully got him into the Texas ANG over several, more qualified candidates, many of whose names are on the Vietnam Memorial Wall. Their families would probably rather it was his name on the wall instead of their loved ones'. Then, he'd be a war hero, rather than an undeserving deserter with an honorable discharge.

He successfully turned nearly every business he was associated with into a catastrophe - and dad bailed him out each time. The man couldn’t even find oil in Texas. That should be the textbook definition of a catastrophic success. Come to think of it, America itself hasn't been positively successful at all under President Bush's watch. This time, America needs to be bailed out!

If on November 3, 2004 George W. Bush is reported to win the election, the United States of America will become another “catastrophic success” to add to his resume’. The Berlin Wall came down under the first President Bush. It is entirely possible Vladimir Putin will reconstruct it (figuratively speaking, of course) under the watch of a second term for George W. Bush.

We may have Bush jr.’s catastrophically successful doctrine of preemption to thank for that.

But hey, it’s not all bad. At least he’d be a nice guy to have a beer with! And that’s where we are today. The Bush team has successfully turned catastrophe into: “no matter how bad things are, the president is still a nice guy.”

You know? I don’t really need to have a beer with my president. What I need is for my president to care whether or not I can afford a beer if I want one.

Bush is a bratty rich kid.
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