Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Trying to make Chicken Salad out of Chicken Shit

An exercise in futility with the Bush Administration

chicken shit:
1. Contemptibly petty or insignificant. For example, He has spent his life making up chicken shit rules that nobody follows anyway. This expression gained currency during World War II, when it was often applied to the enforcement of petty and disagreeable military regulations. [Vulgar slang; c. 1930]
2. Cowardly, as in You're not too chicken shit to come along, are you? [Vulgar slang; mid-1940s]

George W. Bush is, by definition, a cowardly chicken shit. Ditto for the entire Bush Administration. I have two words for those offended by those two statements: Champagne Unit. Two more words: Draft Dodgers. Most bullies I’ve met in my life have been total chicken shits. Lots of machismo and bravado with very little substance behind it. True, the Bush Administration has no qualms about using military force to back up the bravado – in some cases, anyway. Let’s face it, Bush wants everyone to believe he’s a badass cowboy when in actuality, he’s afraid to mount a horse.

The invasion and subsequent occupation of Iraq, no matter how you sugar coat it, was/is illegal and immoral. Does everyone deserve freedom and democracy? Yes. Is everyone going to stand up and fight for it? No. And democracy and freedom via the barrel of someone else’s gun, isn’t exactly the best way to plant the seeds of democracy. America and the world can only reap the benefits if the seeds of democracy are sown from within and nurtured rather than forced from the outside. Otherwise, you tend to get what we have today in Iraq. And by the way, Afghanistan is only slightly less tenuous.

On the February 25th episode of Real Time with Bill Maher, Maher explained that even though he knows the WMD hunt was bullshit, he likes the current “script” Team Bush is reading from now – the “spreading the seeds of democracy” script. My question for Maher – whom I have considerable respect for – is: Huh?

After some consideration, I concluded that perhaps Maher was simply trying to make chicken salad out of the chicken shit policies of the Bush Administration.

By chicken shit policies, I mean Iraq had no WMD and no formidable military. We marched right into Baghdad virtually unscathed. President Bush landed on the deck of the USS Abraham Lincoln, complete with Halloween costume, to declare that the mission had been accomplished. “Mission Accomplished” – at least in my mind – means that the war is over, the stockpiles of forbidden weapons have been found, and our troops will be coming home soon. Obviously, that’s not what happened. Like a lot of guys President Bush’s age, he couldn’t hold his wad any longer, and prematurely shot off his “at-a-boy” for himself. Of course, the futile search for WMD had yet to even begin at that point and the fighting, we would soon learn, was far from over. This was definitely, in Senator John Kerry’s words, “the wrong war, at the wrong place, at the wrong time.”

Weapons of mass destruction. Gathering threat. Mushroom cloud. 9/11. These are all lines from the script that the Bush Administration used to read from and the mainstream media used to parrot, prior to the invasion of Iraq.

Now, it’s “we’re spreading democracy” and “freedom is on the march” and other catch phrases to help you forget the original lie.

Excuse me, Bill, if I don’t jump on that “spreading democracy” bullshit bandwagon! If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were drinking from the same pitcher of Rovenberry Kool Aid that your buddy Dennis Miller has been drinking from since Heir Bush was selected four years ago.

There are plenty of places that were and are still in far worse shape – democratically speaking and with regard to human rights – than Iraq. Liberia, Rwanda, Sudan, and other hotspots on the African continent, as well as other places around the globe where human rights atrocities continue to mount up but tend to get ignored because they either haven’t been oppressed for long enough or they don’t have any WMD – real or otherwise – to mask our reasons for going in to secure their oil… er… freedom, most of them don’t have oil.

But going back to the administration’s original premise for war, WMD, there were and still are legitimate targets to attack – Libya (were category), Iran, and North Korea come to mind. True to bully form, the Bushies went for the easy target. The one without the WMD or formidable fighting force, but with a much more alluring target: the second largest oil reserve on the planet. Meanwhile, Iran has ratcheted up its nuclear, that’s n-u-c-l-e-a-r, ambitions and North Korea’s Kim Jong Il is all but saying, “I’ve got nuclear weapons, what are you gonna do about it, you little punk-ass bi-atch?”

Obviously, little-to-nothing since Kim Jong Il has a million-man standing army, no oil, and that little deterrent called a nuclear arsenal – albeit a small one. Iran has obviously been taking notes.

But with George W. Bush, it’s always about the punk move. Support the Viet Nam War but don’t fight in it. Claim to serve in the National Guard, yet have gaps in your service that would qualify most as AWOL. Claim to defend democracy abroad, yet subvert it in the United States. Claim to be a cowboy while simultaneously being afraid of horses. Take out the weakest, most insignificant country on your own Axis-of-Evil list to show how tough you are, but allow other, less-weak members on the list to strengthen their own arsenals. These actions, and many others, are those of a straight-up chicken shit and, again, typical of most bullies. Add to that the overtly Potemkin campaign rallies and press conferences and having protesters shielded from his view – even in foreign countries he’s trying to pursuade to assist us in his dessert folly – only further exemplifies his chicken shit behavior.

With the Bush Administration, there is entirely too much chicken shit to even attempt to make chicken salad. The chicken coup is in desparate need of a good powerwashing. While the invasion of Iraq is representative of Bush wanting to prove to us and the world – and especially his daddy – that he is that badass cowboy. In the process, Bush has done more than just shield himself from the protestors and nay-sayers, he’s shielded himself from the truth. And the truth has proven to be the horse Bush is afraid to mount.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well said - Bush has a new name. Chicken shit!

10:05 AM  
Blogger BALTHAZAR said...

Great post....love your black background..for the blog

5:03 PM  
Blogger TDP said...

Well written, great word-smithing, and absolutely on target. Bravo!!!!

11:01 PM  
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